The government released unemployment figures this week for April. While many are astounded that the figures are so high, the White House is still optimistic. Continue reading

The Eagle rose up this week and finally popped a cap in Bin Laden’s ass – actually it was around three caps. This ended an almost ten-year manhunt for the leader of the Al Qaeda terrorist group and mastermind behind the 09/11 attacks on our country. Continue reading

The Grand Poobah himself released his long-form birth certificate recently, due to heavy pressure from both sides of the aisle and Celebrity Apprentice host Donald Trump. The White House issued a statement that they were hoping this would put this matter to rest for the good of the country. Continue reading

Holy cow! It’s been awhile and we here at the Padou Times apologize for the long absence. It has been a quite hectic past few weeks on the homefront and we have been unable to post due to laziness and binge drinking of Diet Dr. Pepper and Pop-Rocks.

We promise to get back on track and provide all the news that’s fit to print!

The Associated Press is reporting that a division of the Florida Workforce Program issued capes to unemployed people in order to connect with the community. State director Cynthia Lorenzo was quoted as stating the approximately $14,000 spent on the capes was “insensitive and wasteful.” Continue reading