Padou Times

Tighter Than A Triple Crown Weave!

Obama Saves Jobs Of 91% Of Country!

The government released unemployment figures this week for April. While many are astounded that the figures are so high, the White House is still optimistic. Press Secretary Jay Carney was questioned and had this response: “Sure it looks bad if you only think on the negative side. But you know, not one of you so called journalists commented on the fact that the President has effectively saved the jobs of 91% of the country. That’s right people, so quit bitchin’ about the 9% that are unemployed. Last time I checked 91% was considered an ‘A’ on any report card. Don’t you realize that just last month Obama created over 244,000 jobs?

“Damn good jobs too. Hell, 62,000 were at McDonald’s alone. Do you realize how hard it is to create 62,000 jobs at freaking McDonald’s? Probably not because you haven’t had to work hard for a living like the President has in his lifetime.” He paused due to a fit of laughter, and then continued. “Really people, you should be happy about the numbers. President Obama is motivating the country like never before. No other President in the history of this nation would have been able to convince a person with a doctorate in engineering that his true calling was to be in charge of boxing up Happy Meals. You should see the joy he has put on people’s faces. It’s hope and change people. Hope and change.”


  1. Tifany Mccarns

    2011.07.30 at 05:14

    No bullshit and well written, tyvm for the information

    • Thumper

      2011.08.16 at 22:42

      No bullshit? Seriously are you sure that you read the article?

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