The UK Daily Mail is reporting that an artist has finally found a use for dead cats. No longer will the country be burdened by the costs of burial or cremation, as artist Bart Jansen has discovered that deceased felines make great helicopters!
Apparently, when Mr. Jansen’s beloved pussy Orville bit the dust inspecting tread-wear on a moving tire, he found inspiration where others would find sadness. Jansen had the cat stuffed by a taxidermist and then proceeded to begin his macabre form of postmortem remembrance. Working with some buddies he was able to install a motor, rotors, and other gear to make his former playful companion into a cyborg-like creature.
He calls it art. I don’t know if I would go that far, but it sure is pretty freaking cool in a Frankenstein sort of way. Just imagine walking down the street and seeing this thing flying towards you. Never mind the fact that dogs in Jansen’s neighborhood are probably forever traumatized after encountering this contraption flying through the air.
While it is interesting, it does open up a new avenue for government intrusion into our lives. While everyone is paranoid about the fact that drones soon will be in the air 24/7 all across the country under the pretense of ‘Homeland Security’. Not one person will be alarmed by a cat hovering through the neighborhood.
According to the article, it was simple enough to mount the equipment to the animal so that it could fly. Therefore, it should not be any problem to also install sophisticated audio and video equipment. The requisite ports are already available on the animal if the eyes and ears are utilized. Once this occurs it will not be long before the cats are outfitted with weapons so that they can be used for crowd control or national defense against terrorists.
Heaven forbid if another nation locks onto this idea before we do, why then it could be the start of another cold-war type arms race. Imagine if we suddenly had to fight an army of Chinese cat drones. We would be at a considerable disadvantage, as our cat drones would be heavier and less maneuverable due to the stuffing and fur. Whereas the Chinese cat drones (being just skeletons due to the meat being served as General Tso’s Chicken) would be lighter and allow airflow to pass through, rather than around them.
Our only hope would be that Germany would enter the fray with an Air Corps consisting of mechanized Rottweiler heavy gunships. We could kick ass then for sure.
While I understand that this ‘artist’ only wanted to celebrate the life of his beloved pet. I do fear that this is a new and dangerous path we are suddenly going down. Once you have merged the dead with technology to create zombified cyborgs; it is not long before we start merging other things with machinery to entertain and sometimes torture the living.
Soon there will be a headline of some guy dying after being cut in two by his ex-wife/assassin helicopter. This is a legitimate fear already of any divorced male on the planet. I for one can attest to many DDA (Divorced Dudes Anonymous) meetings where individuals recalled nightmares of having their ex flying through the air at them with a propeller sticking out of her rump.
Once we have ex-wife zombie assassin drones, this country will have truly gone to hell in a hand basket.