Sandra Fluke, wearing her trademark used NuvaRing birth control necklace, told the crowd at the DNC last night that 10 guys a night is acceptable. As long as you wash thoroughly after every third one.

Sandra Fluke, the 30-year old college student with an enormous prophylactic bill, addressed the DNC last night to drum up support for President Obama and remind America that she likes to do the nasty.

Fluke appealed to the masses to think twice before voting for Mitt Romney who would stand by when a public figure tries to silence a private citizen, in reference to when she was called bad words by Rush Limbaugh. Apparently Obama is the polar opposite on such an issue and immediately defends any woman attacked by a public figure. Just look at how he denounced Bill Maher for his scathing attacks on Sarah Palin and even her defenseless child.

Her dislike for Romney also apparently crosses over to his running mate Paul Ryan who, as Fluke noted, co-sponsored a bill that would allow pregnant women to die preventable deaths in our emergency rooms! Apparently the bill, entitled Republican Mandate to Kill Pregnant Women in Emergency Rooms is just another example of how Republicans are out to destroy the universe starting with, of all things, contraceptives.

Her speech then went on to bash America and note that if elected Romney and Ryan will do the following:

–          Force women to have invasive ultrasounds which they don’t want and are humiliating. This is confirmed by a secret memo Ryan passed around which described roving bands of black-masked government agents armed with portable ultrasound machines invading homes at night and humiliating women.

–          Access to birth control is controlled by people who will never use it. She is referencing the fact that birth control, as defined by liberal groups, is on-demand abortion. Not condoms, pills, foams, sponges or the other stuff sold at any store. Of course, she could be talking about condoms; maybe she only has dated those guys that prefer the real feel. Or worse, maybe in her world she is the prime consumer of the condoms. This could be determined by following her to the restroom and checking to see if she pees standing up.

Then she went on to how idyllic it will be once Obama is re-elected.

–          We’d have the right to choose. What I don’t really know. I guess we could choose anything. Which could cause quite a conundrum if she chose birth control and her lover chose freestyle, would there then be an intense game of rock-paper-scissors to determine whose choice won?

–          No one (Evil Insurance Companies) could charge women more for the same exact health insurance as men. This goes back to the ‘I need it free’ mentality of a liberal. Perhaps she doesn’t understand just how insurance works. Could it be that women are charged more because they typically see a doctor several times a year versus a man who goes only when he is sick? Nah.

–          Re-electing Obama would give you a President who, when he hears of a young woman being attacked thinks of his daughters, not his delegates or donors. And strangers would come together and lift her up. If you didn’t think this chick was delusional before, now is the time to declare. First off, Obama could care less about Sandra and her sexual prowess. Personally, I think it is beneath the Office of the President to even comment on stories as trivial as hers. Yet he latched onto it because liberals hate Limbaugh, plain and simple. If she had been made fun of by Maher, Leno, or Letterman then he would have chuckled with them. And then to state that his first thought was of his daughters when he heard of her humiliation? Wow, so Obama heard that Fluke was humiliated because she has so much sex that the birth control costs are outrageous, and he immediately thinks of his daughters? That’s pretty sick. Does Fluke’s dad approve of her sexual exploits? And why is he not helping her by tossing the occasional box of Rough Riders in her college care package right next to the ramen noodles and Walmart brand Oreos?

Sandra, it is amazing that you have become the poster child for this so-called cause. You are what you are and nothing more. To a normal person you are a whiny adult that cannot take responsibility for her own actions. I feel bad that you cannot afford to go to the CVS and buy a box of condoms; even worse that you seem to date guys who force you to pay for the protection. Is this the only way that you can get them to have sex with you? This must be some sort of low self-esteem issue. For future reference, you should visit any free clinic in your city or town. Tell them that you are having a lot of sex and they will give you a whole bag of condoms (assorted colors even!) and this should save you some money. I know you won’t get to gripe as much about the Republicans then, but at least you can get back in the rhythm of being freaky!

By the way, watch out for that old Bill Clinton. I hear he has a thing for young freaks like you. Just make sure that he doesn’t light the cigar first!